Okay, that didn't even sound good in my head.
Justice Society of America #24
Written By Geoff "Everybody loves Black Adam" Johns
Art By Jerry Ordway
Mary Marvel's still evil, eh? Really?
And also, I thought Billy Batson had replaced Shazam and therefore received godly powers, so shouldn't he be able to at least...you know do something other than suck and lose?
And if you're going to do a story about the Marvel family, shouldn't you include the current Captain Marvel?
Oh, well, it's not terrible, but it's not that great either, especially since the middle is basically a condensed version of Captain Marvel's (current) origin, which really doesn't have much to do with the story if you think about it.
On the one hand, it looks like this story is doing its level best to bulldoze away both part of DC Countdown and Judd Winick's Trials of Shazam! miniseries, and that's a good thing. On the other hand...no, you know what, I'm totally behind this deck clearing.
All right, that review did not go well, I feel...weak, uninspired, and I know there is but one solution. I will review any book with the name "Avengers" in the title, for I am not a-feared of brand over-expansion. Let's do this:
Avengers: The Initiative #22
Written By Christos Gage
Art By Humberto Ramos
Okay, our first Avengers book is "Avengers: The Initiative" which was a book starring a bunch of C-list heroes who were training to be part of the Initiative, which was a plan to put heroes in each state, ensuring that the people of Wyoming no longer need worry about super-villain attacks on their....whatever it is that Wyoming has.
In fairness, pretty much any idea in super-hero comics sounds stupid if you think about for too long, in this case "too long" happens to be thirty seconds, it happens.
Anyway, since having four ongoing Avengers series is probably pushing it, this title seems to be winding things down so that it can be...retired.
And that term is appropriate because this issue features the evil Clone-Thor who apparently was rebuilt and is hellbent on destroying the universe, because if your hometown was suddenly anchored to Oklahoma, you'd want to bring an end to the universe too. I don't know why Marvel would think bringing back Clone-Thor is a good idea, but it looks like he's going to go fight real Thor which would make it only the seventeenth time Thor has had to fight some sort of evil or misled version of himself.
In the B-Plot, a bunch of characters no one cares about have to track down some other characters no one cares about in order to resolve a crisis that...wait for it...no one cares about. It's kind of like the Suicide Squad except in the Marvel universe, and since no one besides John Ostrander has ever written a good Suicide Squad story....
Okay, on to Round Two!
Mighty Avengers #22
Written By Dan Slott
Art By Khoi Pham
Okay, so the Mighty Avengers are now the team of Avengers who work outside the government, but aren't written by Bendis and are composed of...uh...I guess the few remaining non-X-men characters who weren't already members of one of the fifty or so team books Marvel is putting out at the moment.
Anyway, it's a pretty good book that I have no major problems with, well, as a matter of principle, any comic that utilizes any member of the Young Avengers for any reason has made a mistake somewhere along the way, especially since, you know, the team already has a guy who change size AND a robot, which kind of makes Stature and the new Vision redundant, so if you know, you need to build a villain up by having him kill a couple of Avengers....
All right, feeling a bit winded, but I can make, I can't see how-Oh, God, no!
New Avenger #50
Written By Brian Michael Bendis
Art By....a lot of people, actually
Let me tell you a story. You see, a few years ago there was a guy named Brian Michael Bendis, fresh off of a triumphant run on Daredevil and toast of the Marvel offices. Now young Bendis thought to himself, "Man, why can't the Avengers be exclusively composed of characters that I like, even if everyone else hates them...there must be some way..."
And six years later he finally has made his dream a reality, oh sure, the likes of you or I don't understand his love for characters such as Luke Cage or the first Spider-Woman, but that merely reflects the divide that separates us mere mortals from the inestimable Bendis.
By the way, the image on the cover does not reflect the contents of the issue, and the reason for that is...well, look at the cover, the Dark Avengers would kick the asses of the New Avengers in about three seconds. I mean, creating a team of street-level heroes is all well and good until you, you know, want them to fight a guy with the power of a thousand exploding suns, and then,,,,well, Luke Cage doesn't look so tough.
But I'm sure Bendis will realize that the team as presently constructed can't...what's that, the next arc has them dealing with the new Sorcerer Supreme? Well...huh...
Trinty #39
Written By Kurt Busiek
Art By Mark Bagley
Alternate Triumph, nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But seriously, next time DC decides to publish a comic about its three most iconic characters, it probably should make sure that those three characters show up for more than one panel.
But that left a bad taste in my mouth, and that means it's time for, as always a...
Retraux Revieux
Outsiders (v2) #0
Written By Mike Barr
Art By Paul Pelletier
Cover Date November 1994
This comic has taught me a lot about comics.
You see, in 1994 DC had an event called "Zero Hour" which involved time-travel and fixing continuity problems. It didn't work, but it did lead to "Zero Month," where each comic got an issue numbered "0" that was designed to be sort of an introductory piece to lure in new readers.
So basically the same thing DC is doing with those "Origins and Omens" back-up stories, but for entire issues.
Anyway, this issue had the task of setting up the new status quo for the Outsiders. In this issue, the Eradicator teams up with Halo, Vampire-Looker, and a man-bear named Wylde in order to stop an epidemic of addictive hyperguns that had infiltrated the streets of Los Angeles.
But wait, there's more, because each of these heroes must contend with deep-seated personal issues. The Eradicator is bascially the 90s anti-hero version of Superman, meaning that he flies around blowing up hopelessly outmatched criminals while sounding like some sort of terrifying emo Dirty Harry. Thrill as the Eradicator shots beams of deadly energy at teenagers! Gasp as the Eradicator blows up a helicopter for getting in his way! Marvel as the Eradicator questions the meaning of innocence in this cruel and hopeless world!
Meanwhile, Looker has been turned into a vampire, which mainly seems to make her thirst for blood and move up to a higher SPF sunblock...no, that wasn't actually a joke, as the first time the reader sees her she is sunning herself by the pool, because, goddamnit, it was the nineties and if you didn't include an impossibly-figured women in a bikini or less, well, you might as well just pulp the issue.
There's also Halo who was body-swapped somewhere along the way, and Wylde who was turned into a man-bear in order to save his life and spends most his free time bemoaning his fate and hunting for salmon...well I'm guessing on that second part.
Right, well, anyway, the Outsiders reform the team, find out that the people using the hyperguns are really just these tentacle monsters, fight them for a bit, and then accidently cause some sort of magical implosion. That brings the news media and leads to the incredible cliffhanger where it turns out that there is another team of Outsiders dedicated to bringing the first team of Outsiders to justice.
I think the second version of the Outsiders impressed me for trying to up the drama quotient by constantly adding layer upon layer of melodramatic backstory to each character. For example, the Eradicator is a Kryptonian Superweapon....who is bonded to a man....who has an estranged family....but who had an incurable illness...and became addicted to painkillers during that illness. And every character had that sort of development, so each issue would be some sort of emotional trainwreck because each character had about a dozen psychological problems.
Written By Mike Barr
Art By Paul Pelletier
Cover Date November 1994
This comic has taught me a lot about comics.
You see, in 1994 DC had an event called "Zero Hour" which involved time-travel and fixing continuity problems. It didn't work, but it did lead to "Zero Month," where each comic got an issue numbered "0" that was designed to be sort of an introductory piece to lure in new readers.
So basically the same thing DC is doing with those "Origins and Omens" back-up stories, but for entire issues.
Anyway, this issue had the task of setting up the new status quo for the Outsiders. In this issue, the Eradicator teams up with Halo, Vampire-Looker, and a man-bear named Wylde in order to stop an epidemic of addictive hyperguns that had infiltrated the streets of Los Angeles.
But wait, there's more, because each of these heroes must contend with deep-seated personal issues. The Eradicator is bascially the 90s anti-hero version of Superman, meaning that he flies around blowing up hopelessly outmatched criminals while sounding like some sort of terrifying emo Dirty Harry. Thrill as the Eradicator shots beams of deadly energy at teenagers! Gasp as the Eradicator blows up a helicopter for getting in his way! Marvel as the Eradicator questions the meaning of innocence in this cruel and hopeless world!
Meanwhile, Looker has been turned into a vampire, which mainly seems to make her thirst for blood and move up to a higher SPF sunblock...no, that wasn't actually a joke, as the first time the reader sees her she is sunning herself by the pool, because, goddamnit, it was the nineties and if you didn't include an impossibly-figured women in a bikini or less, well, you might as well just pulp the issue.
There's also Halo who was body-swapped somewhere along the way, and Wylde who was turned into a man-bear in order to save his life and spends most his free time bemoaning his fate and hunting for salmon...well I'm guessing on that second part.
Right, well, anyway, the Outsiders reform the team, find out that the people using the hyperguns are really just these tentacle monsters, fight them for a bit, and then accidently cause some sort of magical implosion. That brings the news media and leads to the incredible cliffhanger where it turns out that there is another team of Outsiders dedicated to bringing the first team of Outsiders to justice.
I think the second version of the Outsiders impressed me for trying to up the drama quotient by constantly adding layer upon layer of melodramatic backstory to each character. For example, the Eradicator is a Kryptonian Superweapon....who is bonded to a man....who has an estranged family....but who had an incurable illness...and became addicted to painkillers during that illness. And every character had that sort of development, so each issue would be some sort of emotional trainwreck because each character had about a dozen psychological problems.
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