Incidentally, Stargate Universe Sucks

Okay, Stargate: Universe has been on the air for a while now, and I feel confident in saying that it isn't very good.

Oh, I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at some point, jamming together the premise of Star Trek: Voyager, the 'dark n' grittiness' of the new Battlestar Galactica and the backdrop of Stargate. Well, it must have sounded good to someone.

Anyway, I have the feeling that people are probably going to look back at Battlestar Galactica the same way that comic book fans look at Watchmen. A great story, but also something that ended up spawning a decade of painfully grim imitators that almost destroyed the entire industry...okay, I don't think that the entire sci-fi industry is going to implode, but you get my meaning.

Tonight's episode, "Earth," is about a risky plan to get the crew of the Destiny back to Earth and end the series after five episodes. Lamentably, they fail. But in the meantime, some other characters get to go to Earth via a body-switching machine and go out drinking/having sex and then talking about their feelings. Here's a basic rule of thumb for science-fiction to follow: for every scene that involves two characters talking about emotions, include at least one gunfight, because if you aren't, you are tragically misunderstanding your target audience.

Actually, that's not true, if you do a great job developing your characters, maybe, just maybe, you can get away with an episode that is 95% talking, but SG:U's cast of characters isn't...you know, good. There's the Amoral Scientist! The Gruff Commander! Lieutenant Prince Hal! The Nerd-Who-Could-Be-You! The Hot Chick! Sergeant Psychopath! Thrill as the Nerd realizes that the Hot Chick would rather bang a jock! Gasp as the Gruff Commander questions the morality of the amoral scientist! Recoil in horror as Sergeant Psychopath threatens bodily harm to several more members of the team!

I don't know, I guess the show is still getting on its feet, so I should be nicer, but...well, I can't change who I am. Oh, if the show turns out to be a critical success, I'll look like a complete tool, but well, in that event, the imminent ending of days will be more of a concern.