Comic Reviews Week of 6/24/09

Remember kids, retcons cost lives.


Green Lantern (v4) #42
Written By Geoff "Kid Retcon" Johns
Art By Phillip Tan and Eddy Barrows

Hey, there's an actual Black Lantern in this issue. Unfortunately, it's a literal black lantern, and it kind of comes off like something out of some horror movie, as it spontaneously grows arms and seeks 'flesh'. But hell, it beats the Guardians sitting around at the end of every arc and making ominous statement.

But would it really be a Geoff Johns story without a retcon that essentially nullifies a story from between 1986 and 2005? No, it wouldn't, so Johns takes this opportunity to claim that Xanshi, the planet John Stewart let explode because of his own arrogance, was a planet full of jerks, so their destruction isn't really so bad after all.

Still, this issue is one of the better ones of John's run, if only because it feels like something is actually happening, rather than just building towards something way down the line.


Justice League of America (v2) #34
Written By Dwayne McDuffie
Art By Adrian Syrf and Eddy Barrows

How the hell has this title lasted this long. I mean, it's been decent ever since Meltzer left, but he didn't exactly create the strongest foundations, and with the crushing weight of unending crossovers...well, it's to McDuffie's credit that it is wholly unreadable.

That said, the Milestone Universe? Really? Sure, they were using Static over in Teen Titans but he was essentially the only marketable commodity that the entire misbegotten line ever produced. Let's be honest, there has been exactly one version of the Justice League that worked without the big guns of the DC Universe, and that was the Giffen/DeMatteis run, and that only worked because it was a comedy.

Anyway, this issue answers the question of how the Milestone characters ended up in the DC universe...apparently some guy just kind of jammed them in there during the last crisis, and Superman's response is basically, "eh, okay, whatever."



Dark Wolverine #75
Written By Daniel Way and Marjorie Liu
Art By Giuseppe Camuncoli

Dark Wolverine is what happens when a writer has a bad idea and there's no one around with the wherewithal to stop the madness before it gets too far. You see Daken if the son of Wolverine, and he's kind of evil, but only in a boring emo way. Anyway, he's been impersonating Wolverine in the Avengers, and now he has his own title. Thrill as Daken plays mind games with the rest of the Dark Avengers! Gasp in horror as he shares his half-baked philosophy about the world! Grimace as the Dark Reign storyline continues into its mind-numbing sixth month!

Also, I don't know how to break this to Marvel, but the whole 'villain pretending to be a hero' concept can get old quickly if you pump out a dozen books with the same idea. I mean, they've put out "Dark Avengers" and the new "Ms. Marvel" and Bullseye/Hawkeye character has his own miniseries, and there's going to a book called "Dark X-Men"....well, you get the idea.

But hey, if you like Daken....then I don't want you reading my reviews.


Gotham City Sirens #1
Written By Paul Dini
Art By Guillem March

If this comic were put out by Marvel instead of DC, you know it'd be called "Dark Birds of Prey," just saying.

On the one hand, I can't help but feel like this isn't exactly the strongest premise for a book that ever was. "A bunch of female Bat-Villains get together and do morally ambiguous stuff" doesn't sound like a comic that's going to last long.

That said, it's not bad...except for the fact that Paul Dini apparently doesn't realize that no one likes Hush, and feels the need to reference his last Hush-centric story. I would be lying if I said that I knew where the book was going, but I'm impressed enough to give it another chance.

Pico-Reviews-Three orders of magnitude shorter than anyone else's!

Dark Avengers/X-Men Utopia: Pass

Nova #26: I now believe that every single Marvel book is caught up in one crossover or another.

Wolverine: Weapon X #3, Wolverine Noir #3, and Wolverine First Class #16: There's really this much of a market for Wolverine comics? Really? And yet Captain Britain is still going to get cancelled? You all suck.

Uncanny X-Men #512: A bunch of characters go back in time and cause the 1906 San Francisco earthquake? Well-played Mr. Fraction.

Comic Reviews Week of 6/17/09

Hated and feared by a world that I hate and fear, it's time for more reviews.



X-Men: Legacy #225
Written By Mike Carey
Art By Phil Briones

It occurs to me that before Mike Carey started writing this title he wrote Lucifer which was a comic about the devil wandering around and doing vague things in order to further his long-term plan. As opposed to this title, which involves Charles Xavier wandering around and doing vague things to further his long-term plan, but with tons of continuity weighing it all down.

I suppose if you really enjoyed the X-Books of the '90s, you're probably thrilled to see Exodus and a new version of the Acolytes, but if you aren't...well, that's a shame. Now personally, I'm not a huge fan of the X-Men, so I can't help but feel like the finer points of this title are lost on me. My reading of the book was essentially Xavier shows up to tell some low-level league of evil mutants to disperse, and, after a bit of explanation, they do.

But hey, if Marvel's publishing a half-dozen ongoing X-Men titles, there's nothing wrong with one of them being whole-heartedly devoted to the hardcore fans, and in that spirit, this book definitely appeals to someone.



Superman/Batman #61
Written By Michael Green and Mike Johnson
Art By Francis Manapul

I'm actually kind of amazed that this title is still running, if only because it seemed like the whole idea of Batman and Superman teaming up would have a somewhat limited amount of stories to tell. Like, eventually you'd end writing a story where, you know, all of Batman's villains got merged with Superman's villains and they had to fight them, but all of their friends were all mixed-up too.

In fairness, they managed to go for five years of story before reaching that level of desperation, and I suppose that this is about as well-produced a version of that kind of story as you're apt to find.

You could do worse, although it wouldn't be hard to do better either.



Supergirl (v5) #42
Written By Sterling Gates
Art By Jamal Igle

On the plus side, the 'Who is Superwoman' arc is almost certainly the best story of this entire volume. On the minus side, the volume of Supergirl has been composed of stories that have mainly ranged from mediocre to soul-crushingly bad, so that doesn't really mean much of anything.

But this is an okay issue. It basically sums up what happened and sets the stage for Kara going back home to New Krypton. It's pretty well-written, but nothing too special. Still, you have to give Gates credit for making Kara into a character that is not totally unlikable, and since before he came to the book it was written by Jeph Loeb and then Joe Kelly, that's a pretty fucking spectacular accomplishment.

The biggest problem with this book is its contest, but to discuss that, let's bring in an example of what gone wrong on the Superman books:



Action Comics Annual #12
Written By Greg Rucka
Art By Pere Perez

John Byrne is basically a washed-up creator who hasn't done anything good in almost twenty years. But, before his talent mysterioulsy vanished, he leave an important legacy that shaped Superman books for well over a decade; Superman was absolutely the only survivor of Krypton, and thus was unique in the universe.

Now, Byrne did that because over the course of the Silver and Bronze Age there'd been a proliferation of Kryptonians who, through various means, had escaped the destruction of their planet, and had somewhat diluted the character and meaning of Superman. In his mind, Superman should be a singular creature unlike everyone else.

Of course, nowadays there's a 'New Krypton' and thousands of Kryptonians running around. I would guess that eventually that's going to be fixed, but in the meantime, Superman, instead of being a morally and physically transcendent being is just the nicest one of a surviving race of near-gods.

But the problem with this issue is that I could care less about the origin of Nightwing and Firebird, and I don't really think too many other people were clamoring to pay $5 to hear about their origin either. Still, I suppose this issue does answer the most important question: is Kryptonian religion more like Hinduism or Catholicism? It's not a particularly exiciting or interesting issue, though Rucka doesn't do a bad job of scripting it.

Mini-Reviews: Now with even less thought than before:

Captain Britain and MI-13 #14: We should all be grateful it lasted as long as it did.

War Machine #7: War Machine blows some more shit up...for justice! Actually I think the mid-90s volume of War Machine was more intelligent than this.

Punisher #6: No, I'm sorry Marvel, I know you're trying to sell The Hood just as hard as you can, but I'm not buying.

Savage She-Hulk #3: Well, I certainly didn't see that ending coming.

Streets of Gotham #1: Because you demanded it, a Batman ongoing with 10% more supporting cast!

Dark Reign - Young Avengers #2: It would take some sort of super-powered statistician or perhaps a genetically modified actuary to explain how the Young Avengers have gotten another miniseries.

Comic Reviews Week of 6/3/09

Oh Lord, please have mercy on my Xbox 360, which may or may not be on its last legs.

As an offering, I humbly present this week's poorly-written reviews.



Black Panther (v5) #5
Written By Reginald "Bringer of Sorrow" Hudlin
Art By Ken Lashley

Okay, so at the end of this issue, after five issues of waiting, the new Black Panther finally appears in costume. Awesome. Also, it's exactly who you'd expect.

Next issue promises a showdown between not only the Black Pantherette and Morlun (who has become basically the Superboy-Prime of the Marvel universe), but also between Storm and Death. Seeing as Storm is one of the most prominent X-Men, the chances of her actually dying in a non X-book are approximately -10%.



Captain Britain & MI-13 Annual #1 (And Only)
Written By Paul Cornell
Art By Matt Collins & Adrian Alphonia

I can only assume that this annual was written before this title was cancelled, and then Marvel decided that it might as well release it anyway, because most of the time you don't produce special issues of doomed comics.

That said, it's a fine comic that makes me wish it weren't cancelled. But let's be honest, when your headliner is Captain Britain, you're living on borrowed time unless you have a high-profile creative team, and Paul Cornell, talented though he is, is not that. At least in America, I seem to recall he's probably more well-known in Britain.

Oddly enough, both the main story and the back-up are essentially callbacks to Chris Claremont's run on X-Books during the '80s. Which is great if you care about characters like Meggan, and fondly remember Claremont's obssession with the X-Men playing baseball. Now I am not one of those people, but I still found the issue perfectly enjoyable.


Batman and Robin #1
Written By Grant Morrison
Art By Frank Quitely

You know what, I whole-heartedly endorse what Morrison's doing. For too long the Batman books have been mired in the overly grim version of Batman made popular by Frank Miller. Oh, there have been attempts to fix the problem, most notably a reasonably concerted effort made right after Infinite Crisis, but this is probably the best approach; making a clean break with the past.

Now I know that Bruce Wayne will be back in some crossover or another in the not-too-distant future, but at the moment, Morrison is offering a fresh take on the character in the most profound way in the last forty years. It might not work, but it beats just doing the same stories over and over again.

Plus, you can't go wrong with Quitely's art. All in all, it's a good idea that's also well-executed. Hopefully it won't become a historical sidenote...but in all honesty, it's apt to become the Knightfall of this decade, although this book is way better.



Ultimatum #4 (of 5)
Written By Jeph Loeb
Art By David Finch

Well, if you've ever wanted to see Dr. Strange's head explode, you are going to love this comic. Otherwise you will almost certainly feel a sense of loss and a deep depression that persists for days. This has been a disturbingly violent miniseries. I mean, in one sequence, Angel's wing gets bitten off by Sabretooth, who is then shot in eye by Hawkeye, and right after that, Magneto's arm gets cut off by a sword. Now I don't usually mind graphic violence, but even I think that is a bit much.

I can understand why Marvel would want to clean house, but I'm not sure that butchering as many characters as possible in as short a time as possible is wise. Actually, it seems like a rather desperate manuever. Of course, they're also constrained by the fact that the Ultimate Universe is apparently going to continue after the end of this mini-series, meaning that they really can't afford to kill important characters, leading to one of the most extensive cullings of second-tier characters in recent history.

Whoever thought that Jeph Loeb's writing was going to save the Ultimate Universe has made a rather regrettable mistake.

Okay, that'll do for today.