Adam: Legend of the Blue Marvel #5 (0f 5)
Written By Kevin Grievoux
Art By Mat Broome and Roberto Castro
You know what, heroes created out of retcons are usually pretty bad ideas, if only because the mechanics of working them into an existing continuity are usually more trouble than their worth. Take the Sentry for example, I mean, his original schtick was that he was a hero who due to a potent combination of hyperbolic powers and mental illness, erased himself from everyone's memories...except now everyone remembers him...sort of.
Anyway, the high concept behind this miniseries is that there was the superhero who was active in the sixties, but he was secretly African-American, and, well, you can probably understand where they went with that. But now his archenemy has returned and it's up to him to save the day, because the present day Avengers are hopelessly outmatched against the "Anti-Man." Actually, the Sentry is actually featured quite heavily in this issue, and manages to get defeated once again, which is about the thousandth time the guy with the power of a million exploding suns gets man-handled.
...Which he does, and we all learn an important lesson about heroism...and racism...and some other stuff. And, having done that, he can now return to comic book limbo. Oh, the end of the book says "The End...For Now" but I feel pretty confident that's probably a bit over-optimistic.
Booster Gold (v2) #18
Written By Dan Jurgens
Art By Dan Jurgens
Booster Gold is a comic-book that features time-travel and super-heroes, and I really doubt that it will last more than another year or so. It seems like Checkmate, a book that can only survive if it has an A-List writer attached, and Dan Jurgens is a few years past that at this point, so....
Anyway, this issue isn't really that bad, although I don't know why the writers feel the need to keep bringing up the Blue Beetle. I understand the historical pedigree, but Ted Kord's dead. In fact, he's been dead so long that there's been enough time for a new Blue Beetle to show up, have a thirty-issue comic, and then get cancelled when DC realized that there was no way in hell that a comic starring the Blue Beetle could ever last.
In the B-Plot, Booster Gold's sister must confront the fact that she's only alive due some manipulations of history. I'd talk more about it, but I honestly couldn't care less.
Batman: Battle for the Cowl #1 (of 3)
Written By Tony Daniel
Art By Tony Daniel
See, I can prove this miniseries basically doesn't count, and that's because it's written by Tony Daniel. Who's Tony Daniel, you might ask? Well, he's the guy who drew most of Batman: RIP. So, I guess I don't believe.
Anyway, to make a long story shot, the next Batman is Dick Grayson. Why? Well, looking at the cover.....
Candidate Problem
Tim Drake Too young
Damian Way too young
Jason Todd More interesting as a corpse
Black Canary Fails the "man" portion of the test
Catwoman See above
Huntress See above above
Batwoman A transvestite lesbian Batman...a bold concept, but probably not very likely
Wildcat Well, stranger things have....no, no they have not
So, there you go.
X-Men: Manifest Destiny: Nightcrawler
Written By James Asmus
Art By Jorge Molina and Ardian Syaf
There's something utterly glorious about this comic. It's a comic that makes so little sense that after reading it, all things seem possible. But let's get to it, shall we?
The story opens with Nightcrawler quitting the X-Men because, well, they apparently found a new and better teleporter, making him feel useless. Cyclops askes him where he will go, and Nightcrawler explains that he has been invited to the Nightcrawler Museum in Winzeldorf, Germany. So, you might be thinking, oh, one of his enemies has gone to incredible trouble to set a cunning trap for him, but no, the museum is just a museum.
Of course, the amazing thing is that it's a museum in the middle of a part of Germany that apparently still thinks it's the 19th century, which is kind of weird. Anyway, Nightcrawler shows up, and is almost immediately tasked with finding a big demon-looking thing that the villagers have been chasing with pitchforks and torches, because if I were building a Nightcrawler museum, I'd sure as hell put it in a village seemingly populated by extras from Frankenstein. Oh, you might think, "Well, don't they have, you know, some sort of police force in Germany that could handle this?" But I guess rural Germany's about two hundred years behind the rest of the country, so....
Anyway, Nightcrawler shows up to save the day, and quickly figures out that the demon is just a kid who pissed off the wrong gypsy and was cursed, because if you're going to have a village from the 1800s, you might as well go all the way and bring in the evil gypsies too. Anyway, the villagers show up to kick some demon ass, but it doesn't go well for them, and they are only saved from death when Nightcrawler gives an inspiring speech on making in the world as a demon. Unfortunately it inspires the demon-boy to blow his brains out with a shotgun. And that's when the devil shows up.
Yeah, that's right, the devil, well the Mephisto-version, anyway. Apparently, while he had nothing to do with the kid turning into a demon, he did ensure that Nightcrawler would show up so he could that by not joining him in some demon war he would end up hated and alone. Now, some might question why Mephisto would do this by sending Nightcrawler to a museum dedicated to him that is run by a woman who wants to get in his pants and having his summons sent by a group of thugs who, at the very least, had warmed up to him to the point of asking him to save their asses, but it doesn't matter, because Nightcrawler responds to his failure to commit a kid's suicide the only way he knows how: banging the chick who runs his museum and high-tailing it back to America and the X-Men.
I think the moral here is....uh....don't cheat on a gypsy, because her grandmother can turn you into a demon...probably.
Or something.
I don't know.
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